師のいたわる心が込められた茶杓「おもかげ」
今年初めのことを、今更ながらなのですが、どうしても書いておきたいと思います。
というのも、4月の半ばに母の一周忌を無事に終えて、
なんとなく、ぼんやりとではありますが、それなりに不在を納得できたような気がするからです。
実のことをいえば、もっと前に文章は書いていました。
それを公開せずにいた、というわけです。
そのためちょっと、時間差が感じられるような文章になっているかも知れませんが、その時の私が抱いた想いそのままに、お読みいただきたいと思います。
令和二年の初稽古
1月18日、今年最初のお茶のお稽古でした。
年末から慌ただしい日々が続いており、自主稽古がまったくできていないまま。
なおかつ、私の先生は、事前にどんなお点前をするか知らせないのです。
お稽古に臨んだその時に初めてわかるため、予習はほぼ出来ません。
ゆえに常に基本のお点前をしっかり体に染みこませておくことになるのですが、それができなかった。
それで、ここは集中力で乗り切ろう、と決めました。
一年の計は元旦に有り といいますが、その年最初のお稽古で、あまりポカはしたくないものです。
雪になるかと思われるような冷たい雨の中、先生のお宅へ伺いました。
今年のお正月は喪に服されて・・・
お点前は長板の薄茶点前でした。
初めてなので、先生に一つ一つ教えていただきながらです。
指先にまで神経を届かせながら、茶室での静かな時が流れます。
そして、お点前を終えて、最後の拝見の時のこと。
初めて目にする茶杓に私は戸惑いました。
それは
大徳寺 興臨院住職 萬拙禅司のお作、「おもかげ」という御名のものでした。
「今年のお正月は喪に服されていましたでしょう」
先生の、その一言にハッとしました。そして危うく涙がこぼれそうになりました。
昨年の四月、令和最後の満月の夜、私を産み育ててくれた母は永眠しました。天で待つ父の元へと行ったのです。
ふと母の面影を偲ぶ日々。お正月は特に、おせち料理をせっせと作っていた母の姿を想い出します。
先生は、そんな私をおもんばかって、「おもかげ」のお茶勺をご用意くださったのでした。
「お心遣い、誠にありがとう存じます」
声が震えることをとめられないまま、深々と頭を下げました。

言葉になっていないからこそ伝わる無量の想い
今は「言葉にしなければ伝わらない」と誰もが言います。
言葉にすることの大切さばかりが説かれているようです。
日本人が、言葉にするのが少し苦手なのは、「察する文化」の中で生きてきたからです。
言葉にならなくても、そこに込められた意味や意図や想いを、あますことなくくみ取ることが出来る。くみ取った上で、自分の行動を決する。
茶の湯は、その文化がかたちになって顕れたものの代表です。
般若心経は、すべては「無」を説いていますが、それは同時に「無」には無限の有があることを示していると私は理解します。
また、浄土宗などでは「四無量心」を説いています。
「慈」「悲」「喜」「捨」それぞれすべて「無量の心」・・・つまり、際限なく与えていこうという願いが込められているのです。
たったひとつのお茶勺に込められた師匠の私に対する慈悲の心は、まさに無限の有であり、「無量心」そのものでした。
今年最初のお稽古で、無量の宝をいただいたような気持ちです。
この境地を私は目指していこう。
師匠からの慈しみあふれる無言の指導でした。
ちなみに棗は、「四君子の蒔絵」です。
松竹梅に加えて菊、いずれも極めて尊ばれる植物です。
それを「四人の君子」に見立てて「四君子(しくんし)」と呼びます。
こちらには、あえてお正月らしい華やかさがありました。
「おもかげを胸に、しっかり前を向いて今を生きていくように」
そんなメッセージをいただいた気がします。

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